the challenge

Last Saturday I was working my usual shift of 6pm -11pm which meant I could only watch the first half an hour of Arsenal’s away trip to Wolverhampton. As I was driving into work we went 1-0 up and by the time I checked my phone some ten minutes later it was 3-0 to the Arsenal. All well and good, I was taping MOTD so would catch up with it on Sunday morning.

Sure enough this is what I did. Good to see the Arsenal playing well. Cheered by the performance I go online to see who we have next week. Sunderland at home on the 21st Nov. WTF? Please no, not another cunting fuck off international week that no fucker apart from Wannabe Sloveen Degen watches. I couldn’t believe it, the season is only a few months old yet this is the third time we have had to put up with this interuption to what to me is far more important than some shitty internation freindly – Arsenal’s progress in the EPL.

The first thing you think when one of these breaks comes up is ffs I have to wait two weeks for some decent football. Then it really kicks in because you start to get worried that your best players are going to get mangled playing in some piss pot worthless piece of shit match. And so it comes to pass yet again. RVP has apparently damaged his ankle ligaments and will be out for a long time. So now because of this bullshit we lose a star player. Bad enough losing them when they are actually playing for your club but when its in a nothing match it drives you up the fucking wall.

I could not give two shits if England beat Brazil or if Holland beat whoever the fuck they were playing - who gives a fuck, it means nothing. My club is far more important to me and always will be. Sure when the finals come around then fair enough but all these international matches in the season can fuck right off.

On a completely different note that slag WBD (Would Be Dickwad) claimed last night he was a far better poker player than me. Yes we know he is delluded already from his Tottenham rants but to say he would “own” me at poker is a joke. Particularly if you remember earlier in the year I beat him in a $5 HU which sent him on tilt to the extent he went off cockle picking on Brighton beach with a load of Chinese immigrants for two months.

Anyway I had the idea of a challenge between the two of us if I can find a site I haven’t excluded myself from. Earlier in the week I signed up to Betmost through RTR only to find my account was immediately suspended. I emailed them only to find Betmost is part of William Hill and my name had been flagged up as I had self excluded from WH. That was the end of that.

The challenge will be a £25 mixed poker challenge, small stakes of course. It will include some low buy in MTTs, a few SNG’s and some HU as well as some 45/90/180 manners. All results will be logged. The man who does best overall will be declared the winner. I think we all know who that will be. I know I arse about at poker but I have proved I can play by winning a good few MTTs this year and getting a roll together even if I do always tilt it off.

I’m just hoping WB doesn’t get all sulky again, fucking baby.

Laters

JR

FOXTROT UNIFORM CHARLIE KILO

I don’t know about you but sex used to be exciting, fun, spontaneous, hungry, sweaty etc. Whats happened over the last 6 months or so that I now couldn’t care whether I have it or not. Don’t get me wrong, I still get very horny, and often end up doing silly things i.e. shagging a girl I have no feelings for just because it gives me that fix.

When did it all become so bland though? I honestly think there is something in (now I am older) only sleeping with a girl (or guy for my homosexual readers) that you are in love with. The best sex has always been with the girls I have been in love with. So why do I continue to sleep with girls I have no feelings for when I know full well they have potentially deep feelings for me? Why is sex so powerful that it completely overtakes all sensible behaviour?

I think back to one of my first sessions at GA. This is going back to 2003 before I went anywhere near Gordon House. It was the first time I thought “shit, I really have a problem here, I am not in control”. I had maxed the credit cards out, At the Races was on in the background, I was broke, it was stil two weeks until payday and I somehow had to get to work in the morning running on vapours. I scanned the web in panic, eventually finding the GA website and plucking up the courage to call the number. The guy on the other end of the phone was calm, understanding – he knew what I was going through because like many of the help line operatives he had been through the same thing himself. This was his chance to give a little bit back and in doing further his own recovery. Of course it was a relief to me at the time. There I was able to get it all out, talk to someone who had been through the same things. It was all new to me. Here I was looking for help and very briefly I had found it and believed.

So with this new inner confidence to no longer gamble I made it to the weekend and to my first session at GA. Obviously I was nervous as each member took it turns to go over how their week had been. One guy who stood out was a man who was more round the tall. He spoke of how he had kept his gambling thoughts and urges in check that week but had struggled to surpress his urges to wank over internet pornography.

Now surely there is nothing wrong with bashing one out every night to some MILF etc on xnxx. Why shouldn’t he? But I know now it is unhealthy for the mind, yet like gambling I still continue to do it. It must be the quick fix rush that a gambler is always looking for. But its the feeling afterwards which is the problem. Its empty, lonely and before the cum has even had time to soak into your old sock you are feeling a little desperate.

Degen, Poker & Porn do not make for a healthy mind. I may well write more about this in future posts but right now I must sleep.

Love to you all

JR

Static

‘Well you didn’t get up this morning, because you didn’t go to bed, you were watching the whites of your eyes turn red. The calender on your wall is ticking, the days are few’

I have spent the last hour or so trying the find the link to download a quirky old film I have not seen since 1987. The film is called Static and was written by Keith Gorden & Mark Romanek (Romanek’s directing debut). You may remember Keith Gordon from the film Christine – also one of my favourite films.

Even though I haven’t Static in over 20 years, occassionally it pops up into my thoughts and I find myself hunting it down on the net, always with no luck. Despite recieving acclaim on the independent film circuit it has never been released on DVD which makes it damn hard to get hold of a copy. I guess I’m hoping one of my readers is a film geek who may have a few new leads, hence putting it in my post. I may have even posted about this before, can’t remember.

I haven’t really been up to alot this last week. Watched Question Time on the BBC which just tends to reinforce my hatred of politicians. The politicians who seem to be talking sense to me are deemed far right extremists. An example, Kilroy Silk questioning immigration and how the face of the country will change if the rate of births to non white Brits continues at the rate it currently is. He was just written off for bringing this up, with other politicians giving clever answers about how they are proud for their children to grow up in a country with such a diverse population, (do any of them actually live in them?) And of course it always gets the nodding head round of applause, but doesn’t he at least have the right to ask? Why is everyone to scared/ashamed to talk about such issues. He also made a point that the population was never consulted on whether it wanted the country to change in the way it has.

Don’t even get me started on the referendum on europe debate. How these politicians get away with not giving us a vote is beyond me. Its a fkin disgrace. Now the Tories have even shyed away from it despite giving a cast iron promise we would have one.

Speaking of far right organisations has anyone noticed how all the latest annoying as fck adverts by NatWest have no black/asian people in? There must be at least seven or eight of them that have been broadcast over the last 6 months and so far I am yet to see any black/asians. Perhaps its one of the reasons NatWest gave me a new debit card. Seriously though normally the big brands are falling over themselves to have every race under the sun in their adverts. What is going on with NatWest here? It does seem very strange that such a huge company can give the go ahead for a long advertising campaign of this nature and not be representative of the population. Or maybe they doing just that, being representative of the population. I don’t think we will be seeing the CEO of NatWest being invited on to Question Time!

The poker front has been pretty quiet really. Played mainly cash and quite a few times built up $200 from $15 deposit only to bust again. I quite like this challenge though of trying to get to $500 from a small deposit. Have gone quite deep in a few big MTTs on Stars i.e. $15k but when getting down to the last 100 or so I seem to be losing the key hands for pots that would put me top 10. I get it all in good only for sick turns or rivers. Any stake offers are most welcome as I am spending my next couple of weeks wages on a PS3 for my boy. I had wanted to take him to WWE at the 02 Arena but £200 for night is a bit too steep IMO.

Finally, I must explain my quip about “When is UKgatsby going to come out of the closet”. The Gatsby collared me on MSN the other night and asked me to explain myself. I was honest with him and told him the thought was purely random but was one I found amusing so put it down. I will let him explain the story about how he found out about it (I am not linked), it was also quite amusing.

If you blog you are fair game so get over yourselves ffs. Besides it makes the posts alot more interesting.

You all have my love no matter what sexuality or race you may be.

Much love

JR

silent sigh

Hello people, it certainly has been a while for a number of reasons I guess. I have either been busy at work, looking after my boy or probably its just more a case of feeling rather unispired when it comes to posting. Plently has been going on but I just haven’t really felt like sitting down and writing about.

I have kept in touch with some of the blogs but to be honest there hasn’t been a great deal out there to keep me interested. The only two I have gone out of my way to read are the blogs of Would Be and Amatay. They  remain fresh and interesting to read for very different reasons. Platonic seems to have gone into semi retirement which is a shame.

So what has been going on in my world? Lots I suppose, women, football and gambling as per usual. In an ironic twist to my gambling career I made the decision to exclude myself from all my local bookies as well as tell my mate to no longer let me deposit money on to his card and play in his name. I had a few lapses (expected) but eventually I had excluded myself from all Ladrokes, Hills, Sam Johnson, Corals and Jennings in the Hertfordshire area. This meant the only poker I was playing was the live games once of twice a week for minimal outlay. What do you think happened next?

Well out of the blue NatWest decide they will send me a Visa card. I ask you, how is this possible? I have defaulted on more things than I care to remember and have at least two CCJs. I have no money being paid into that account and never have yet somehow my credit rating is good enough. What do you think Iwent and did next?

Well I popped into my local NatWest and deposited £20 cash. I opened a Betfair account and put £15 in to play some poker. A week later of cash play I had withdrawn £525 and still had a roll of £175. The £175 soon went when I overplayed AJ on a J28 board re-raising all in only to run into 8s. The hand didn’t feel right from the start. Basically with the £525 I have been freerolling. Opening different accounts, using the bonuses and then just busting the account. Of course its all gone now bar £5o. I just find it amazing that I haven’t been able to get credit of any kind for years and years, even when I was earling £40K working in my last job. Since then I have been largely unemployed yet now I am credit worthy just as I had put excellent obstacles in place to stop me gambling! Hey ho!

So now I am in the process of emailing and calling Bet365, Sky Poker (the worst poker site ever?), VC etc to exclude myself and card details from their sites! Couldn’t make it up.

Obviously the main part of this weekend was the anticipation of my beloved Arsenal playing in the north London derby vs the Spuds. Of course it didn’t take long for all the nonsense to start with Keane opening his mouth early on in the week to say that Spurs were on a par with Arsenal. I mean how the fuck the guy comes to this conclusion is just way beyond me. They haven’t beaten us in the league this century, never been in the champions league etc etc. It just seemed an incredibly stupid thing to say in my opinion.

Not content with Keane’s stupidity who should pop up and start given in the large one? Youv’e guessed it, delluded twat of the year when it comes to football, take a bow our Would Be. Him and Gatsby should get a room. Speaking of Gatsby, when is he going to come out the closet? Anyway lets not get side tracked here, back to the spazmo that is Would Be Degenerate. I noticed a few silly posts on Facebook by him and then he gets me on messenger. This is how the convo went down at the end of which he was irrate and started slating me on FB lol.

I am CCC by the way, please excuse the way it has copied through.

WB says:
ffs how much do i wanna play some sit’n'gos or tournament or something, how bad is this feeling?
CCC says:
im just on betfair….playing some cash
WB says:
damn! i cant even sleep. just need to play. gonna drink the rest of this vodka to numb the need
it’s so fucking sick, i’m a bag of nerves about the match
CCC says:
i just prefer to wait and see, let spurs do all the talking pre match
WB says:
haha, i’ve got such a good feeling about the match, but then i always do, so it just makes the disappointment all the more painful if we don’t show up tomorrow
CCC says:
im quietly confident!
WB says:
as you always are too, i’ve had a bet with a mate. if arsenal win i have to put my facebook status as “..thinks monkeys should only be used as sexual aids and mustard is just a form of lubricant”
but he’s let me have spurs and a draw
CCC says:
i refuse to talk about it until after the match
WB says:
come on the fucking spurs
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
go into their gaff and fuck ‘em up
get into em right from the off
you know your team cant handle the rough approach
if we go there and try to play nice football you’ll blow us away
Palacios needs to get stuck in
CCC says:
i will do my talking after the match, and thats all I have to say on the matter.
WB says:
Bentley putting the crosses into the box for Crouch to dominate your defenders
fuck off! your team is shit!

WB says:
i hope we get you in the carling cup as well
to teach your kids another lesson
CCC says:
thats all you have, but thats fine, enjoy it
WB says:
right, we’ll see, who have u got in your game in hand?
CCC says:
ok…lets not get into an argument you cant possibly win (again)
WB  says:
haha
CCC says:
speak to me at 2.55 tomorrow afternoon
WB says:
http://www.dearmrlevy.com/dml/2009/10/30/if-i-had-the-wings-of-a-sparrow.html it’s from a spurs perspective, but i think it’s a well-written article, doesn’t just abuse your mob, i love all the build up, always have. The North London derby.

Probably the purist of all derby games simply because the animosity stems from matters of football rather than religion or social and geographic economic upheavals. No docks or waving of loyalist flags. Just two neighbours at war over long forgotten arguments screaming abuse at each over the garden fence, we are forever enemies with no chance of a reconciliation…………….excellent opening statement.
CCC says:
if Fabregas plays well then we have a great chance.
WB says:
palacios is never going to give anyone an easy game
CCC says:
seems to me everyone is talking spurs up
WB says:
we’re without our 3 best players though, modric, lennon and defoe, but King and hopefully Woodgate at the back which is good news if Woodgate makes it. Arshavin is the biggest danger.
CCC says:
well logic would say that you have to win a derby sooner or later…I mean its over a decade now isnt it?
WB says:
in the league yea, i cant even remember the last league win, November 99, fucking hell, i was in school.
CCC says:
exactly…..with that in mind I wouldnt be running my mouth off…but then again thats what spurs are all about, there is a massive gap in style, respect and class between the two clubs.
WB says:
fuck off you muppet
CCC says:
its not my club doing all the shouting when in truth they really have nothing to shout about or havent proved a thing…but let them go hang themselves.
WB says:
we are the class
CCC says:
in your own little minds yes I agree.
WB says:
the white shirts, the navy shorts, the style, the english manager, the proper fans, not the cosmo reading ponces who leave 10 minutes before the final whistle.
CCC says:
lol…thats all you have, when in truth you know where the real class is….
WB says:
i cant wait to be talking to you five years from now when u havent finished above us in the league for as many years.
CCC says:
1994 was the last time you did…but oh we won the cup winners cup that year….and oh, we play the best football in the league these days….
WB says:
if you played the best football you’d be top of the league.
CCC says:
what like chelsea?
WB says:
you haven’t won fuck all since you moved to the emirates,fuck all. you might play the prettiest football, but it doesnt mean the best  football is that which gets results.
CCC says:
but we have trust in our manager and we do play the best football so we can wait…we havent had 12 diff managers ….but you play it your way, we shall play it ours, like I said, Im really not interested in Spurs…on the other hand your club is run with us in mind.
WB says:
your manager will be sacked in may when he fails yet again to deliver a trophy, how long can you guys keep faith in a guy that hasnt delivered anything for years? especially when fabergas fucks off to Barca.
CCC says:
he delivers everyweek when we get 60,000 week in week out or hadnt you noticed? and 57,000 on waiting list with another 145,000 members

WB says:
so you’re all about the money? the turnstile revenue?
CCC says:
you asked what he has achieved, there is your answer…the quality of our football.
WB says:
60000 fans and one of the quietest atmospheres in the PL.
CCC says:
what other manager could achieve such a thing in world football? no one at any club. But because he conducts himself in a certain way and plays the game in a beautiful way us Arsenal fans are quite happy to wait. Its NOT all about trophies. They will come.
WB says:
lol
CCC says:
its true, we love our manager and what he has done for us.
WB says:
you’d be happy then would you spending season after season playing attactive football but not being able to beat the small battling teams, and then not winning trophies, you’d be content with that?
CCC says:
we have faith, its you guys who go through a diff manager each season..look what wenger has done for us, titles, cups, finals, sure now we dont have the funds, we shall just have to be patient and thats what we will be…he will come through.
WB says:
dont have the funds? aaaaahahahahahahahahahahahaha, wenger doesnt want to spend.
CCC says:
thats fine with me…
WB says:
you wont win fuck all
CCC says:
we have no one to fear
WB says:
for a long time
CCC says:
but like I say I am only interested in Arsenal…as it seems are most spurs fans, long may it continue
WB says:
we’re interested because we fucking hate you and everything you stand for.
CCC says:
good, we have no care for your club what so ever, why would we?
WB says:
the cosmopolitan quiet non-fans, the french teenagers over giving a chance to the young english kids, the arrogance, the paedophile manager who never sees anything on the pitch
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2009/oct/31/nicklas-bendtner-interview-arsenal-tottenham
CCC says:
jealous mate, but its understandable and in case you hadnt noticed we have plenty of english talent coming through….
WB says:
“Arsenal’s super-confident young Dane believes that nothing will stop him from becoming one of the world’s best strikers” aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Bendtner
CCC says:
not interested in the press.
WB says:
what a laugh, I hope Almunia’s playing tomorrow.
CCC says:
you are desperate, now go and calm yourself

WB says:
Nicklas Bendtner claims that he will be the Premier League’s top scorer within five years’ time.
aaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
legend
CCC says:
you are obsessed with us, understandable I suppose.
WB says:
I didnt know that Adebayor nutted Bendtner, thats brilliant.
CCC says:
have you got your milk and teddy ready for bed?
WB says:
i’ve got my vodka and Spurs CD
We’re off to Wembley cos we beat the Ars-en-al
hahahahahahaha nutted
Bendtner looks like he’s gonna cry

You stopped sharing photos

WB says:
“The first thing Adebayor said to Bendtner was ‘I’m only on because you are so s**t!’

CCC says:
nite dreamer, speak to you at 2.55pm.

LOLOL. I like the way the more the argument went on the more delluded and wound up he got. “Ive got my vodka and Spurs CD”. LOLOL have you ever heard anything so sad. Basically I think he got owned just like when I played him HU that time which sent him into semi retirement earlier in the year.

Have a mountain of other stuff to blog about. BNP, cumming on my own face (amazing facial) are two posts which come to mind. Its good to be back.

Much love

JR

Welcome

Hi people. I am still trying to work out alot of the widgets etc on here so bear with me. More posts soon.

JR